(one month later)

Strange how my posts this year eventually changed from self-loathing stuff to something more interesting. (still-my writing here is always inchorent and often kind of annoying even to myself)
Sure, the few people close to me helped quite a lot (especially the one this past month), but I can proudly say I owe most of the change to myself. It wasn't easy, that's for certain, but going through constant changes for a year left me satisfied and with a renewed hunger for adventure. Onwards, then.

30.12.2012

...will be marked as the day I officially fell in love with Porcupine Tree.

I think the universe purposefully created circumstances in which I never actually got to listen to them... until a certain event occured in my life. And boom! There. Intimacy in its finest and purest form.

χρόνος ο πανδαμάτωρ (;)

I did not count the days or the weeks or the months. Time is an illusion that only makes us pant. I survived because I forgot even the very notion of time.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. 

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. 

Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to'. 

Πριν της πεις ότι την αγαπάς, βεβαιώσου ότι δεν είσαι: Καυλωμένος, μεθυσμένος, μοναχικός, απελπισμένος, λυπημένος, θυμωμένος, ή πεινασμένος.

μόνο τώρα καταλαβαίνω πόσο πολύ μπορεί να καταστρέψει κάποιος την ψυχή σου. νιώθω ότι είναι ανεπανόρθωτο τελικά. 

φοβάμαι. μόνο αυτό. 

δεν έχω όρεξη ούτε κωλοδάχτυλο να κάνω. 

So what about the ghosts of the past?

I mean, do they keep chasing you forever? Even if it's rarely-do they? They say that when an experience has been dreadfully painful, you can't just spit it out and forget about it, you gotta keep it inside and move on. Is that true? Hell, does Time really heal all? 
Most probably there will always be some dark pieces in your heart. Like, forever. I came to the conclusion that however horrible these expreriences might be, they really do make you who you are today-a stronger (but often much more incredulous-be that a blessing or a curse) person.

The thing is-I've been struggling to keep them ghosts out of my current close relationships. But whenever you get romantically involved with someone, you inevitably compare some of their traits to that one person who once gave you a pretty hard time when you gracefully offered them your heart on a plate. 

Anyway. I'm pretty optimistic about the future and I think I can cope with having the ghosts around-I won't let them take me away. I have to remember not to feed them. :D

I woke up with a big smile today! おはようございます！＾＿＾

(｡´ ‿｀♡)

Η ομορφιά βρίσκεται εκεί που δεν την περιμένεις.
Ξαφνικά συμβαίνει μια συμπαντική συνάντηση, κι εκεί που όλα είχαν τόνους του γκρι*, εμφανίζονται παντού ουράνια τόξα.

Εσύ έχεις ζήσει ποτέ σε όνειρο στην πραγματική σου ζωή; Στον ξύπνιο σου δηλαδή;

-

Εσύ έχεις ζήσει ποτέ πραγματικά σε ένα όνειρό σου; Στον ύπνο σου δηλαδή;

Τελευταία όλα μου φαίνονται σουρεάλ. Οι καταστάσεις, οι συναντήσεις και οι άνθρωποι. Πολύ συχνά, εδώ και κανένα δίμηνο-τρίμηνο, όταν βρίσκομαι με κάποιον/κάποιους στο ίδιο μέρος, αναγκάζομαι καμιά φορά να αναρωτηθώ για ένα νανοσεκόντ αν όντως βρίσκομαι εκεί. Την ακριβώς επόμενη στιγμή απλά επανέρχομαι στην πραγματικότητα. Ακούγεται πολύ μπερδεμένο ακόμα και για μένα -__-" Αλλά ένιγουεηζ, δεν είναι αυτό το θέμα.

Ποιο είναι το θέμα; Η Δάφνη είναι ευτυχής και προσπαθεί να ανοιχτεί και να μην είναι καχύποπτη προς όλους! Ποιος να το πίστευε.

Βρήκε κι ένα μυαλό σαν το δικό της αλλά πολύ πιο χμμμμμ ανεπτυγμένο θα έλεγα 
(°◡°♡).:｡ εκεί μέσα αυτό το μυαλό έχει όλα όσα ήθελε ποτέ να κάνει αλλά δεν έβρισκε ποτέ κάποιον να της τα εξηγήσει-και ταρατατζούμ! Αφίχθη από το πουθενά.

Σήμερα έζησα ένα όνειρο σε μια σκοτεινή αίθουσα προβολής. Δεν ξέρω πώς, δεν ξέρω γιατί. Ίσως να φταίει και η κούραση.

Α!

Valtari. Αχ βαχ. Εκτός από τον ύπνο που με πήρε σε κάποια φάση, με πήραν και τα ζουμιά 2-3 φορές. Για διαφορετικούς λόγους κάθε φορά. Κατάρα! Είμαι μια παλιοσυναισθηματική.

υ.γ.: χέρια πλεγμένα. σνιφ

*καμία απολύτως αναφορά στο αηδιαστικό κατασκεύασμα επονομαζόμενο 50 Αποχρώσεις του Γκρι.

cold coffee

i might not be the right one, it might not be the right time, but there’s something about us i’ve got to do, some kind of secret i will share with you

(kind of irrelevant but might need in the future)

I'm close to giving up again. But dude, I do love my art and I promised a while ago I would never give up for anyone or anything because I may be a total spazz with few communicating/oral skills, but I love myself and my creations.

In other news, in desperate need of someone new to share my troubed thoughts with. Why am I constantly bored and searching for renewal in the wrong places?

#BA55D3 mediumorchid

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.

Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.

Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.

been listening to this all afternoon
oh wait
it's 11.28
shit
I hate that time passes by so fast when you're upset.

I would die for you.
Who would you die for?
If anyone?